awkwardness

Tonight I was thinking about going out to some clubs in Dresden but they were a bit further away and it's raining and cold. Since I'm here two nights I decided to wait until tomorrow to see how I feel. A girl in my dorm asked me if I wanted to join her and another friend out for drinks (at a bar, not club) and for some reason I said no. After I thanked her for inviting me but said I was going to stay in I immediately wanted to take it back and go but I felt awkward. I wonder how often people feel like this. I feel disorientated and out of touch with people that when someone who may be cool actually invites me along I end up turning them down. And the silly part is, it's Friday, I've showered and I was dressed to go out.

I think maybe I am just too much in my own world. I'm used to people having different schedules and not really connecting with others. I'm used to being on my own. For the rest of the trip I'm going to try to say yes to everything unless I'm not feeling well or it is a request from some creepy guy. I'm also going to make more of an effort to try and meet others even if it's just a smile. I think I avoid looking people in the eyes and talking to them here because I am worried I will not understand them or that they will speak to me and I'll awkwardly tell them I don't speak German/Czech/Dutch. I am having a good time but I really would like to connect with some people. It's difficult because everyone who is traveling has had a different schedule than me. So many of the people on Busabout stay in each city for little time. One night even.

So now it's about 20:30 and I think I might head to sleep and wake up early tomorrow to explore this city. I'm in Dresden and really only have 1 full day here, which is okay. It's quiet and a lot less busy than Berlin. I will write more about Berlin when my internet connection is a bit faster. It was a nice week and I have given a move abroad to Berlin some thought.

I'm really looking forward to Sunday though as I leave for Prague and stay for 5 nights in my OWN APARTMENT. By myself! The thought makes me super happy. And here I am reflecting on how I need to meet more people, haha. Truth is though I feel more comfortable meeting others and having a place to leave to and go back to by myself. I am truly a Cancer. I crave a safe, home base to go and escape to when I'm done having my fun. After sleeping in the same room as someone else for the last 2 weeks I'm ready to have my own space again. It is my splurge for the trip at 45 euros a night but at this point what it represents is priceless.